Our youngest son, Benjamin, was born in September of 1999 with a very large, very reddish, very noticeable birthmark called a hemangioma on his eyelid and forehead.  Everywhere we would go as a family, or just Ben and his two bigger brothers and I, we would be on the receiving end of many stares and comments about the birthmark.  Most of the people we would meet were very kind and sweet to Ben.  Occasionally people would be cruel,  say terrible things or stare rudely. 

You can imagine how much these horrible people would hurt my maternal pride and love for my child!  Most of the time when someone would say something rude or act disgusted about Ben's birthmark, I would not say anything; but just ask the Lord to forgive them and to help me keep my temper along with my tongue.  Needless to say, sometimes it was very difficult for me.  I even would find myself walking behind my husband while he was pushing Ben in the stroller.   I would pretend not to be part of that family group just to hear what people would say about Ben and watch their facial expressions.

One afternoon, we went out to lunch with some of my husband's family at a local spaghetti restaurant.  The boys and I had been shopping and several people had been very cruel and said some very stupid and insensitive things about Ben's birthmark.  I had called both my husband and my mother- in- law in tears about how awful these people were and how hurt I was.  My husband's parents took us out to eat as a way of cheering me up.

We had finished our meal and hubby-dear was getting a refill at the soda dispenser with Ben perched on his hip.  I remained seated at our table.  Three women just sitting down at a table next to us began talking very loudly to each other about Ben.  Here is an almost verbatim account of their conversation:

Woman #1:  "That poor baby.  I have never seen anything that bad!"

Woman #2:  "Isn't that awful?  What a shame.  The poor little fellow."

Woman #3:  "Bless his heart.  I wish I could do something for him."

Well, up went my dander and white hot went my temper.  Who were these women to be talking about something that Ben didn't ask to be born with, and saying how bad and awful his birthmark was?!  Especially after the morning we had, I was right on the verge of turning in my seat and telling them exactly who I was and what I thought of their personal appearances and lack of compassion and manners.  When…….

Woman #1:  "Maybe we should go and tell his Daddy."

Woman #2:  " I don't even think he realizes it's oozing like that."

Woman #3:  "He doesn't even know it's all over his pants."

Hold on a second.  My head snapped up and I thought to myself, "Wait a minute.  Ben's birthmark doesn't ooze and what's this about pants?"  I turned my head to look at Ben and my husband.

Out of the back of Ben's britches was (she was right) oozing the worst diaper "blow out" I have ever seen.  This one would even beat big brother #2's record!  And yes, it was all over Daddy's work pants.

I dropped my head, shook it back and forth and laughed.  I thanked God these women were not being cruel, just very observant, and concerned.  What I had thought was a nasty conversation about Ben's birthmark was really all about a dirty diaper. 

I am so glad the Lord intervened in timing and didn't let me say the horrible, terrible things I wanted to say to those three women!  I asked His forgiveness.  I went to help my husband change Ben's diaper and clothes, then I returned to our table. 

The three women were finishing up eating and getting ready to go.  Having confessed my sin, I felt I needed to tell them how sorry I was for thinking the things about them that I had and ask their forgiveness for my misplaced anger towards them.  So I did.

They very graciously heard me out and forgave me.  We had a nice little chat about my children and their grandchildren and all the embarrassing moments they'd had over the years with messes from both ends of a baby.  What delightful and funny women they were.  They got their coats on and were getting ready to leave.   Woman #1 turned to me and said, "You know, we didn't even see the birthmark."

James 3:2 says, "We all stumble in many ways.  If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect men, able to keep his whole body in check."

Thank you Lord for closing my mouth when I would open it to say hurtful things.  Thank you for Ben's birthmark and all the people we meet who are genuinely concerned and aren't afraid to ask questions and learn.  I pray we would use it as an opportunity to share our faith with others who may not know you.  And for those Lord who are mean and cruel, may our love for Ben and our silent testimony of  forgiveness be a light pointing them towards you.  Lord, you did not make me perfect and I thank you for that imperfection which keeps me dependent on the One who is!  Amen.