I take a deep breath before opening the door and stepping outside. With one last glance around the perimeter, I cautiously put one foot out in the open and head on my way. All seems safe, so far so good.

Uh, oh. There’s one now. Just keep walking, I say to myself.  I catch my head starting to turn. No, don’t even look. Crisis is only averted for a moment, however. There’s another one, and another. How many can there be?

A single drop of sweat rolls down my forehead. I keep walking as calmly as possible, but inside my head is a marathon of thought, trying to keep it together. I see my destination a few hundred feet ahead, but I’m being attacked from every angle. I want to break into a sprint and get away, but I might blow my cover. Lord, help!

Finally, I reach the steps, and open the door. I stop for a moment to breathe again and regain my thoughts.

Ok, so maybe that was a little thick on the drama. But being a single guy walking through a Christian college campus on a summer day is no easy task, especially if that single guy is trying desperately to keep a pure heart and mind for God. When walking to and from classes, it really does feel like a constant bombardment of temptation and desire. And funny, the more I try to devote my love life to the Lord, the more of a challenge it seems to be to keep my mind focused on His will, rather than my desires.

Fortunately, God also created me with a persevering and determined heart, and He leads me through those times of struggling and fear and doubt. Proverbs 31:10 helps me push lustful thoughts aside: "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies" (KJV). Yes, I certainly long for a virtuous woman; but I also realize that if the Lord is going to give me a "Proverbs 31" wife (or even if He isn’t), then I must in turn keep myself virtuous. And the Holy Spirit reminds me of this goal whenever my thoughts or feelings start to lean away (which seems to occur all too frequently!).

The rest of the world is not nearly as encouraging, though. From famous people to even some of my own friends, people today seem to share an I-want-it-and-I-won’t-wait-for-it attitude. Believe it or not, even a lot of guys at Christian colleges tend to have impure attitudes toward women and sex. And when the weight of loneliness becomes so unbearably heavy, the world’s ideas almost make sense. During those times, it is easy to wonder the value of this pursuit and battle for purity. After all, so-and-so has a beautiful girlfriend, and I’m way more deserving than he is!

But that negative attitude only fuels the flame of lonely feelings. At times, I am brought to my knees before the Lord, begging for forgiveness and relief of the immense pain. He always listens, too, as I pray daily about my single life and how I want to live it dedicated to Him – adding how much I wish the solitude would end. He never ceases to hear my prayers. Sometimes they are prayers of hurt and defeat. Sometimes they are prayers of anger and frustration. Sometimes they are prayers of joy and victory. But He listens to them all, and He uses them to mold my heart to be more like Him.

Maybe all these feelings aren’t very "macho" by today’s standards. Maybe "wimp" is the first word most people think of to describe a twenty-year-old who has never been in love, never had sex. Well, I’m sure I’ve been called worse. But I can hardly think of anything more "manly" than being faithful and pure to one’s future spouse and one’s Creator. If I have any regrets about how I have lived as a single guy, it could only be that I haven’t been pure enough, especially in my mind. Perhaps the criteria I have for myself and my future mate are too high. But we are called to "love [our] wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Eph. 5:25). Too many husbands and boyfriends fall far short of the standard Christ set for relationships. Too many wives do not prove worthy of such love and respect.

Being a chaste, single, Christian man is a difficult task – by far the most challenging of my life to this point. It seems as if Satan himself has declared war on my purity. But my Lord is on my side through all the battles (and they are plentiful, whether walking across campus or "safely" in the confines of my home). Keeping constantly in prayer, reading God’s Word often, and enjoying fellowship with other single, Godly guys have kept me battle-ready. I cannot see the path that God has for me in coming years, and I can’t tell what (or who) He has in store. But I know it will be worth the fight.