Staying Pure...For Her
Staying Pure for Her
By Travis K. McSherley

As much as I would love to think that you're all now convinced that saving sex for God's timing is worth it, I know that doesn't always seem to be the case.  I'll even admit that in times of doubt and loneliness I sometimes wonder if this purity stuff is all it's cracked up to be.  Thankfully, I've persisted and rejected those thoughts so far.  Sometimes we begin to deal and rationalize, though.  "It's not like God's going to send me to hell for having sex before marriage."  "I just want to know what it's like, then I'll wait."  "But she's soooo hot!"  As a college student, I am well aware of the multitude of lame and pitiful excuses that lead to fornication and impurity.  But even if I mess it up, God forgives all sin, right?  Of course He does; sexual sin was covered on the cross along with everything else.

But does that mean that you can regain your virginity?  Not a chance.  You may be able to be pure again, but you will have tainted God's special gift in your life forever.  The beauty and specialness of it will never be enjoyed in its fullness.  Maybe that's enough incentive in itself to save yourself for marriage, but maybe not.

We've seen throughout this series how lust of the moment can put aside rational thinking and judgment.  In times of lust like these, your one and only focus becomes fulfilling that desire, in this instance physical intimacy.  As we saw in the story of Jason and Brittany and as you may well know from your own experiences, during the heat of passion, advice, warnings, and sometimes even efforts to please God go out the window.  All of a sudden, AIDS just doesn't seem like a big deal anymore.  And God will get over it, right?

Although God is certainly enough of a reason to hold off on having sex, and the risks can be great, maybe one more reason is needed.  You might have noticed that someone was left out of the equation above.  All we've talked about so far is the conflict between oneself, and between oneself and God. 

Unfortunately, it is all too easy to convince yourself to compromise your own beliefs and values.  And sometimes we try not to listen to the small, still voice of the Holy Spirit telling us God's will.  Lest we forget, however, someone else is involved here too. What about the one lying there on the bed next to you?  When you have sex before marriage, yes you are damaging your sexual purity, but you're also allowing someone else's to be shattered as well.

Whoa.  That should be a humbling thought.  It is to me.  Maybe we're willing to lose our sexual purity to one night of passion, but we hopefully aren't so quick to sacrifice our companion's.  Ideally, both parties should want to preserve the other's purity, but we men especially need to be strong.  We are supposed to be leaders in the relationship, and we must take extra special care to make sure we don't let lust get the better of us.

Maybe you're thinking, "Well, this is great and all, but it doesn't really apply to me.  I have a great girl whom I love and intend to marry, so there's really no need to wait."  To the contrary, I believe this type of situation presents every bit as much reason to wait!  If you know you're going to marry someone, why the rush?  Just think how much more enjoyable and worthwhile the wedding night will be if you wait!  But on the other hand, what happens if you have sex and the "love" dies out and you don't get married to that person?  Now, four people are going to be affected by the decision not to wait.  Your ex is not going to be a virgin bride or groom for their spouse, and you won't either.  This means that your mate will be getting "tainted" goods; how will that make them feel?

The title of this series is "Staying Pure...For Her."  Besides being a nice little rhyme, I have found this statement to be one of the most convincing reasons to remain pure through marriage.  Even at times when I am struggling with my faith in God and longing for affection, I think of my future wife and know that she is worth it.  No, that doesn't necessarily make the wait easier, it does make it bearable.  Sex is meant to be the consummation of a covenant between man and wife.  It's about giving a part of oneself to his or her mate that they may become "one flesh" as the Bible says.  If that covenant has not been made, then the consummation is dangerous.  Sexual purity is one of the best gifts a bride or groom can give to their new spouse.  I don't know about you, but I want to make sure I still have that gift to offer come my wedding night.  My wife deserves that, doesn't she?  If you love someone so much that you want to share your body with them, shouldn't you love them enough to save it for them?

And you have to imagine that when two pure believers come together in holy matrimony, that God is there too, smiling just like a proud Papa.