In her book A Return to Modesty, Wendy Shalit exposes the fallacies of a so-called "equal" and "free" society.  She is a defender of true women's rights and points out the tragic ironies of a culture where women have fought so hard to attain power -- giving everything they have -- only to discover they have stripped themselves of the true power they possess by merely being a woman.

As a practicing Jew, Shalit is not writing from an evangelical Christian perspective (though she does devote a few sections to God and practicing religion). Instead, she uses philosophical, psychological and historical evidence to show the detrimental effects the lost virtue of modesty has on women and how this loss contributes to the breakdown of society in general.

The author, who was in her mid-twenties when she wrote Modesty, has a perspective that is very different from many others in her generation.  She was sheltered from the public school sex education to which most of her generation was exposed, having parents who chose not to have her included.  Shalit now realizes that the differences between her and others who have been exposed to this type of education are vast and worthy of further exploration.

She begins the book by doing just that. Our society, she says, has waged a "war on embarrassment," exposing kids to sexual information in early elementary school -- well before the age that sexual desire becomes natural -- with the demand that children act mature and not become embarrassed.  Shalit makes the point that "embarrassment is actually a wonderful thing, signaling that something very strange or very significant is going on, that some boundary is being threatened -- either by you or by others. Without embarrassment, kids are weaker: more vulnerable to pregnancy, disease, and heartbreak."

Shalit then discusses "postmodern sexual etiquette," including casual sex and hook-ups and the expectation that women have many sexual partners over a lifetime. She includes many facts and statistics about rape and girls who are suffering from depression, as well as the increasing prevalence of self-mutilation and eating disorders.

"It is no accident that harassment, stalking, and rape all increased when we decided to let everything hang out," she writes. "A society that has declared war on embarrassment is one that is hostile to women."

The book goes on to explain the "Forgotten Ideal" of modesty, citing many historical examples of how modesty has had impact in societies.  She discusses how our society has longed for equality, but what has been taught is sameness.  This has transformed the way men treat women and how women view themselves.  She also looks at whether modesty is natural and why.

The last section of the book, "The Return," explores how women are expected to be emotionless creatures, engaging in sex casually with no feelings involved.  Shalit explores recent scientific studies of the emotional state of women and how anti-depressants are being prescribed at an alarming rate to help women become less sensitive to rejection and relationship problems.

In essence, the idea of a woman who longs for a steady relationship with one man who will treat her like a true woman has come to be viewed as an anomaly, and something needs to be prescribed to help women cope with this problem.

This book truly changed my life.  Being raised in a Christian home, I knew that a virtuous woman was something I should strive to be (Proverbs 31:10), and dressing modestly and conducting yourself in an appropriate manner are a part of that.  However, I never realized the true beauty of modesty and the power a woman possesses when she accepts the way God created her.  

As a woman in my mid-twenties, I could identify with Shalit as she began to see that society's view of women, sex, and modesty have caused a cultural shift. When I read this book in college, I realized that -- even as a Christian -- I had begun to succumb to many of the lies fed to women regarding independence and equality. Modesty shed light on these fallacies and equipped me to stand my ground living in a generation of free sex and relationships void of love and commitment.

I began to work in the crisis pregnancy center ministry when I was 19 years of age and attending a large secular university.  I counseled many women who were my age, and it was difficult for me to relate to them.  Though our age was the same and we had similar educational backgrounds, I found discussing relationships with them to be very frustrating.  This book helped me see things from their perspectives, understanding that because I had been sheltered from public school sex education, not only was my view of sex outside of marriage different, but my lack of sex education drastically altered the way I viewed relationships and womanhood in general.  

A Return to Modesty is a fascinating read that explores deep issues that affect our society.  It is impossible for anyone, liberal or conservative, Christian or non-Christian, to read this book and not be struck by the stark reality of the tragic consequences of abandoning innocence.  The loss of modesty is not a matter of Biblical morals versus secular immorality; rather, it is a war on the very nature of women and men.